Life’s pathways and rarely smooth.

I have been off grid for a bit. I needed a bit of time to reflect on where I was and if I felt I was on the right path to my own personal goal. In my job role I find the confines of working for a local authority challenging.

Young people seldom fit into a box, their thought patterns are often erratic and not easy to pre read. Their actions and lack of understanding when it comes to consequences can be beyond frustrating. That’s always the first hurdle. But that I manage, I listen to what they are not saying rather than what they are. Inwardly, I expected the unexpected and always prepare for the worst possible outcome. Outwardly I show empathy , I give time and understanding and attempt to guide towards wiser choices through positive reinforcements and building self belief.

For the young people I work with, on the whole this approach is successful. My challengers really start when it comes to the red tape. I get all the safeguarding, risk assessments , consent forms. That side, I see the purpose and need for. But I struggle with the indecision, the length of time and work that is needed for a yes/ no answer. It would seem there is always a BUT! 😔

It’s not that I am inpatient, but that the young people I work with are. They change their minds more often than their socks (FACT). If they / I have spent the time planning, consultations to get their voice. To then have yet more barriers put in your way it is soul destroying.

Can I change it? I honestly don’t think so, can I find a way to live with it? Right now I have no idea, a huge part of me is being drawn towards the greener grass on the other side ( voluntary sector). But my age and life experience tells me that it rarely is as green as you see it from over he fence. 😔

I love my job role, I love the young people I work with and the difference I make in their lives. Good bad and indifferent, but I am questioning if my passion can be contained in the restrictions of statuary. I am battling with the fall out of my own ACE’s as a child.

I am working on it, the immediate team around me are just an amazing team, without whom I would likely already made my decisions.

I understand it is my challenge, I understand the need for so much security around safe practice and I know it is my failings to work within these restrictions that hundreds of thousands of other people do every day.

My dilemma is is my own ethics and ways of working where the focus is on the child’s needs and welfare. I am trying to learn to accept that actually the focus is on the figures at the end of the day 😔. That is not right in my mind.

Let’s see where the journey takes us 😊

Author: Fatbirdonabike

Hi. I am far to close to 50, and currently 17 stone, not brave enough to put pictures up yet but hopefully I will get there. I have a spinal condition that causes chronic pain 24/7. I use pills and potions to manage that and finally after lots of trial and alterations we built a bike that allows me to ride with pain I can manage. So. Here we are. Fatbirdonabike. This is about my journey to mental health and fitness and hopefully a size 12!! 🙄

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